12 May 2009
Is not that I wanna be emo. However today is the day that made me changed everything about myself. I do not know why I felt that I lost that feeling which I needed all this while. That feeling has been giving me support and it is a pillar for me to lean on. Now I felt that I have lost it.
Right now I am already sick. Probably thinking too much. Headache, sweaty and restless. My eyes keep on tearing every now and then. I am so hurt, it feels like something just hit me super hard in the heart. Like a spear piercing through that single piece of muscle. All this is due to my own mistakes. There will be a point where my tiny heart will stop beating. Just stop.
Right now I cannot take it anymore. I cannot take the pain physically and mentally. I cannot focus. I dont want to eat. I just dont want do anything but think. Think and think. Cry and cry. I have no idea when will this stop. How to make it stop. I need Raihan so badly. He means the world to me. The best that I could ever imagine. I swear if I ever get him back, I will never leave him because I know the pain is too much, just too much for me to take it.
I am ready and will always be. Time moves so slow, maybe I wont be able to make it; to have you back. In this situation that I am in, I have no direction in life. Just waiting and letting the day pass by. Killing time. Why? Why Izan? Why am I being like this? Never in my life I felt this aura, this feeling until I landed myself in this situation. The power of love is indeed just too strong, probably may be fatal.
Okay this is too emo for me to express my feelings out. Only god will understands me now. Anytime soon I will just stop. Just stop because I cannot take it anymore. Stop.
drumzann
posted @ 6:59 PM
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