30 May 2009
Danny Izann is feeling the suicidal-wawa-feeling right now. Hell no I do not want any attention from any of you. I am just writing to express myself. To let everything out. I do not care. Just think whatever you want to think.
Firstly I screwed up myself super big time yesterday. I was behaving like some immature kid that even my close friends do not recognize me. I was the cause and effect of my own actions. One by one, a series of super duper unfortunate events happened. I got scolded, screamed and insulted by somebody who I highly respect of, who I love the most. However, I cant blame anybody, it was my very own mistakes.
It had to happened yesterday. The last day of school, the starting of holiday. I was so looking forward to it however I screwed up the day myself. Super duper pressurizing day. My malay o'levels is on Mon and god, I do not even have time to think about the day I was born.
 I think I should cut down my love for you. I do not want to hurt you or myself. I try not to miss you. I try not be with you as often as before. Super duper heartbroken. I never felt the love from a brother before. However when this happens, I do not know if I can rely and regard you anymore as my own brother. Slowly the feeling just drifts away. It is so difficult.
 I behaved like a cold-hearted person who was some how insensitive to the feelings of others around me yesterday. Why do I changed? Sometimes I wonder about that myself. Is not this the process of teenhood? Am I right to say that or otherwise?
 And hell no, my grades are de-proving so badly. What can I do now? My parents are scolding blaming me for all the crappy grades that I received. Stop it you people. Just stop it. You are just adding more pressure. Let me focus my malay o first. I know I can improve my other grades, just give me time please. I will try to manage my time and schedule. Do not force me please.
 Yesterday I was super duper damn terrified. I am still so afraid right now that I do not want to meet you ever again. I am just to worried the next meeting will end up the same as yesterday. I just cannot. It was very unexpected of you to scream like that. I was taken aback, that is why I put down the phone. I do not want to see you as of now.
 
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posted @ 11:23 AM
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